The new year brings about a lot of reflection on what you accomplished or almost accomplished during the past year. When I looked back on 2010 I find that I had one of the most eventful and defining years of my life. I graduated from Brigham Young University with my Bachelors in Recreational Therapy and minor in Psychology. I was able to travel to Italy with the love of my life and tour the wonders there. I had the opportunity to conceive, carry and deliver my beautiful son. 2010 was definitely the year of extreme highs and lows for me. While I feel like I accomplished alot, I look at 2011 and think... what is next. How can I improve myself or others if I am not a studious student or nurturing mother. I am at a point in my life where there are no deadlines or schedules. What do I base my worth on? Why can't things go according to plan?? I am SUPPOSED to be a mother right now. I should be constantly busy taking care for my son and loving him. What does the Lord expect from me now that he has taking away the only thing I want more in this life then my husband? As I prayed and asked these questions, I got an answer.
"Katie you always have value in my eyes. Think who you are, think of the girls you serve, think of how you are changing their lives." As I thought about this, I realized that they were actually changing mine.
I started working at a group home for girls 2 weeks before I lost my son. These girls are abandoned, abused or otherwise forgotten. It humbles me everyday to hear of their journey through different foster families, group homes and court hearings. I have recently started a recreation therapy group with them that helps them cope in healthier ways. I have found that by preparing my groups, I have purpose again. I am helping others who in turn are helping me understand how to mourn in healthy ways.
Because of these girls, I decided that I would start making goals for myself. I decided to really push myself and do something that I hated doing. If I could ask them to do things they didn't like.. Shouldn't I. So I told them that I had never run a mile straight. Well there was no turning back now. I was completely accountable to them as they were to me. After running 2-3 times a week for 6 weeks, I finally completed my goal. I ran a mile. Not a very fast mile, but a mile none the less. These girls have given me hope that I can make a difference in their lives and well as my own and I am so thankful to be able to work with them everyday.