Thursday, September 22, 2011


From the beginning of time the Juchaus were meant to have trials. So it is no surprise that tough stuff has been going on in my family lately. Seems like my family has alot to learn about patience and long suffering.

As the current predicament has escalated I have grown closer to my dad in ways I didn't think I could. 
I Love my dad with all my heart.  
He is my rock, my hero, my nurturer and friend.  He is so strong and humble and loving. I am so thankful that he has always been there from me throughout my life. My dad is a very special and important man. He saves lives for his job. He goes to meetings around the clock and works around the clock to help those in need. I admire his dedication to others and to his family.

I was looking through some old picture and found these tender moments with my dad. 

A little Shout out to My Brother Eric! He is getting married on October 1st!
I love you Eric! You are one of the strongest people I know. You deserve the world and I am so Happy for you and your sweetheart NaRhea!

I Love my family so dearly.  Even though we all have our struggles and trials we have all gotten closer because of them. I am thankful for our hardships in life. It makes the sweeter times that much better!   

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


It helps to share with others who can understand your struggles and encourage you along the way. Let's let today be the day we take a giant leap forward to becoming who we were created to be.  

Saturday, September 3, 2011

My Porter

This week has been like any other week (besides my birthday, hurray for making to 24!). I have worked for most of the week. Spent limited time with my Nate, cleaned, run errands, and gone to the gym a few times. Nothing of significance has happened to trigger the thoughts I have been having. However I can't shake the sadness I have been feeling over the past 5 days. I miss my Porter so much lately. It has been about 10 months since I lost him yet sometimes I feel like it was yesterday.

I just now realized that I have stopped praying for help, for comfort and healing. I figured it has almost been a year. Nate and I have been trying to get pregnant for the past 4 months and I should be past the grieving period. I do just fine talking to people about him, I even welcome it. But it is in the little things that I feel Porter and long for him. 

I didn't realized trying to get pregnant would bring up so many emotions in me. I find myself holding my stomach  when I am talking to someone pregnant, or sitting next to couples in my ward with newborns.  I think I am still trying to be the strong one, the one that comforts everyone else, when really I need to rely more on my Heavenly Father. I need to ask him for strength, even if I think I "should" be good by now. I don't know why this week has been so hard and emotional for me, but I know that I am not alone and that Porter is not alone. We will be together again, and until then I will be doing by best to earn the privilege to live with him again.