My first 5k

My First 5k was for the Now I can Foundation.  All proceeds went to children with walking disabilities.

Before the race.

                                                         

11:18 pace!

Sprinting to the Finish Line. Please ignore my face :)

 I did it! I ran my first 5k! I made a goal to do at least 12 minute miles so that would put me at about 36-37 minutes to complete. Well I finished it in 35 minutes flat! I placed 101st out of 500. I was 48th in women. I am so proud of myself that I was able to do something super hard and keep with it.  I am thankful that my friend Corinna would come run with me even though she did not train at all, what a trooper. Girl Power all the way! My next goal is a half marathon!

After the race.

                                                               

Rollercoaster of Emotions

What an emotional whirl wind I have been on this week. To start off I had a period from H. E. double hockey sticks. Headaches, backaches, zits and I was just a crying mess. It didn't help that Mothers day was Sunday. Talk about embarrassing, I broke down crying when the primary sang, when I saw the baby in front of me giggle and during every speaker. I basically left church without an ounce of makeup on. Plus last Mothers Day was when we told everyone we were pregnant.

I have also be super happy this week too.  Nate and I decided that since it has officially been 6 months since we had Porter we are going to start trying again!!! I am so incredibly excited and horrible scared at the same time. I want a baby more than anything, but I am so nervous about getting pregnant and staying pregnant. The doctors told me I am going to be monitored like 24/7. I am already at high risk because of my double uterus, but adding the stress of the unknown on top of that isn't good.  I am trying to relax but what if we can't get pregnant again?? What if I miscarry over and over again. My mother had 2 miscarriages. What if I have another still-born?? But... What if I have a perfectly healthy happy baby?? I know I shouldn't play the "what if" game, because I did this before we got pregnant with Porter. I thought that I wasn't going to be able to conceive at all, but we did just 2 months after we went off birth control!

I know I need to have Faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that they will bless us if we are living in accordance with his Gospel. I am so excited to start this journey all over again. I just hope that I can let myself relax and enjoy the process of "trying" to get pregnant :), and not stress about every little thing I do. LOL we will see how well that works.

The snowball effect

I started a goal of running a mile at the beginning of the year. I thought. " hey this will be easy". Well it actually took me a few months and a new pair of awesome running shoes (thank you 26.2) to get to my goal. Once I reached that I decided to set a goal of running a 5k,.. Why, I don't know. I even signed up and paid for one, so naturally I would feel guilty if I didn't go through with it. My date is May 17th. The 5K is called walk to run, all the proceeds go to children with disabilities.

Well today I accomplished my goal of running 3.2 miles (a 5K). I am seriously amazed that I ran this far, I didn't even get that tired, I had to stop because my knee hurt.  I thought that the 5K in May was going to kill me but now I have hope. I now have a new goal of running a half marathon..... I don't know what is going on with me. I seriously have hated running my whole life. I probably wouldn't even run if someone was trying to kill me, "just get it over with" I would say. LOL I am just that lazy. So having these goals is COMPLETELY out of the ordinary for me. Plus I just signed up for my first triathlon in June?!? I call this the snowball effect. I bought my first road bike a few weeks ago and I am in love! I am starting to enjoy running too.

Who would have thought, Katie the short legged, never ran a mile in her life, Katie would be excited about running everyday? Not me. I am so amazed how powerful our minds are. If you think positively and really put in the effort anything can happen. I know this is a little dramatic, but those that know me know what a pathetic runner I am. I thank Kara and Jessie for helping me so much on my way. I still have along way so please keep up with the encouragement and awesome advice. :)

I love to see the Temple

I am so thankful for the temple and that I can be sealed to my eternal companion Nathan Richard Adams forever.  He truly is my everything. I am so thankful  for the power of temple covenants that can bind our love throughout the eternities. I love you darling!

Thank you for taking so many adventures with me.  Now that we are coming up on our 4 year anniversary I can't help but think about all the adventures we have been on. In 4 years we have moved 3 times, I have graduated from BYU, We have toured Italy,  and conceived and had a beautiful baby that we will get to raise in the next life.  What an amazing journey we have been on love.  I can't wait to see what is in store for us.  I love you!

Birthdays

Today is a very special day.  26 years ago the man of my dreams was born to two amazing parents. I am so thankful that he was raised to be respectful, honest, caring, strong, loving and true! I am amazed at all he does for me and our marriage. I hope that when I become a parent I will be able to teach my children the strong morals and values that my in-laws taught Nate.  Thank you for all that you did and that you do for Nate! Today is special for another reason. 4 months ago I had my son Porter. He was born November 18th at 6:00am. He died sometime on between November 14th and 15th. As soon as I could feel Porter I knew he was going to be like me. He never stopped moving. He wiggled and kicked till the day I lost him. I could tell, even though I didn't know him that he was going to be special. I didn't know how, but I knew that something was different about Porter. Then I realized Porter was just like his Daddy. He is strong, valiant and true. So true that he could testify of the atonement without saying a word. So valiant that he only needed to be here long enough to receive a body. So strong that he could leave his mother and know that she would be okay, and that she would learn how much both Heavenly Father and him love her. I love the boys in my life so much. Happy Birthday Nate! I love you and I love everything I am with you! I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

Spring Break

It is a strange thing being married. I thought that being married meant that you got to spend time with your spouse. NOT! My husband and I are more like roommates these days. I get to see him for maybe 2 hours each night, if that. It is so sad. I miss him so much. He does so much. He works full-time from 7-4 everyday and then has school from 4-8 after that. Then when he gets home he has to do homework :(. It is a struggle for me to motivate him to do his homework and not spend the rest of the night snuggling with me and watching movies. Unfortunately I work most weekends and Nate doesn't.  So this brings me to my happy happy happy point. Spring Break is next week and that means I get Nate all to myself, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday night! No School!! I can not wait to just be with him! He is so amazing and I feel that our lack of contact is causing me to become depressed!  He lifts my spirits with the amazing love he shows me everyday. I am so thankful for my husband and the way he puts me first. Thanks babe! You are my everything! XOXO

New Normal

As I was cleaning my house today I wandered into Porter's nursery. I just sat in the middle of the room and pondered how different my normal is now.  I never used to have random fits of crying or days that I didn't want to get out of bed. I never used to feel like if I wasn't busy every second of the day I was worthless. I never felt like my value depended on if I was a mother or not.. Why would it? I had never been a mother and hadn't been preparing for it for 8 months. Some days I feel like none of this ever happened. I feel like I am already losing Porter and the experiences I have had.  People that are just meeting me never knew I was pregnant or that I had a baby. How could such a big part of who I am now, vanish like the warmth after a sunset. I feel as though everyone should know what I went through and who Porter was. I find that through writing I can remember that time in my life and make it more real. It has almost been 4 months since I had Porter, but the sadness still captures my heart. The doctors said that I would be different, that I would have a new kind of normal. I can feel it everyday. My light is still with me, it just burns a different color now.