Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Rollercoaster of Emotions

What an emotional whirl wind I have been on this week. To start off I had a period from H. E. double hockey sticks. Headaches, backaches, zits and I was just a crying mess. It didn't help that Mothers day was Sunday. Talk about embarrassing, I broke down crying when the primary sang, when I saw the baby in front of me giggle and during every speaker. I basically left church without an ounce of makeup on. Plus last Mothers Day was when we told everyone we were pregnant.

I have also be super happy this week too.  Nate and I decided that since it has officially been 6 months since we had Porter we are going to start trying again!!! I am so incredibly excited and horrible scared at the same time. I want a baby more than anything, but I am so nervous about getting pregnant and staying pregnant. The doctors told me I am going to be monitored like 24/7. I am already at high risk because of my double uterus, but adding the stress of the unknown on top of that isn't good.  I am trying to relax but what if we can't get pregnant again?? What if I miscarry over and over again. My mother had 2 miscarriages. What if I have another still-born?? But... What if I have a perfectly healthy happy baby?? I know I shouldn't play the "what if" game, because I did this before we got pregnant with Porter. I thought that I wasn't going to be able to conceive at all, but we did just 2 months after we went off birth control!

I know I need to have Faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that they will bless us if we are living in accordance with his Gospel. I am so excited to start this journey all over again. I just hope that I can let myself relax and enjoy the process of "trying" to get pregnant :), and not stress about every little thing I do. LOL we will see how well that works.


  1. I'm so impressed with how you've become this amazing triathlete in the last few months. Way to go! And all the best working on baby #2 - I hope everything goes smoothly!

  2. Katie I just love you with every ounce of my being. I am so grateful to have a Big sister that is you. You have had extraordinary faith and strength. I know you and Nate will be able to get through whatever obstacles are placed before you. Thankyou for being an amazing, beautiful woman and a incredible example to me. Love you forever and always

  3. Lindsey, Thank you so much. I don't feel strong or extraordinary but I am grateful that you think of me that way. I love you and hope that I can always live up to the way you view me. I hope you are doing well darling. Miss you!

  4. Katie, it is so hard and scary and I can't imagine what goes through your mind on a daily basses. I have had 5 miscarriages and that almost stopped me from trying with kutler. You will be paranoid the while time but I know you are worthy to be a mom so start strong and continue to try! Kids are so worth it!