Saturday, March 3, 2012

Just Relax

A few months ago if you told me to relax, I might have slapped you in the face (k, not really, but I am sure I would have thought about it). I was so sick of people saying if I "Relaxed" Nate and I would get pregnant. Or all we had to do was go on a vacation, then we would get pregnant. Or just adopt, then you for sure will get pregnant, it happened to my friend. 

Well I will tell you what, I thought I was going to snap. This is a Medical problem that Nate and I are going through. It's not something that, "Relaxing" will help....right?  Well, Nate and I started seeing a fertility therapist counselor person a month ago, and let me tell you. Wow! I have learned so much. It has been so nice just talking to someone who has dealt with couples like us for years. He was so knowledgeable. He said we were turning getting pregnant into work. (I am not going to lie, when you are actively trying to get pregnant, it takes the fun and spark out your love life.) So he told us to throw away our fertiltly calendar, quit scheduling time to make a baby. Just be together when we actually feel like being together (sorry if this is too much info).

 He also said that when women are stressed, their fallopian tubes will  spasm making it harder to get pregnant. I thought that was very interesting, considering my stress level lately has been about a 9 out of 10.  So, even though Nate and I both have medical problems with us, relaxing could actually help us a little. And alittle is better than nothing. 

With all of this new information and counseling we have be receiving, I have felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It is so nice not obsessing about when I ovulated or what foods help with fertility. We can just be us. Just play and act like a normal couple again, instead of being stressed and annoyed and heartbroken month after month. We will get pregnant when the Lord wants us to get pregnant. I just need to remind myself of that. So for now, I am leaving it up to Heavenly Father. No more pregnancy tests 5 days before I even start my period. No more ovulation App on my phone. No more, poor me. Let's hope that "Relaxing" will help after all.


  1. Love this post. I completely agree. Once after my dad gave a blessing he said I needed to relax and it would happen. I went home crying because I felt like no one understood how I felt. But for the last few months I've dropped the opks and phone apps, life goes on and it's nicer when it is more related.

  2. I love this post =) Keep us updated! Love you!!!

  3. Way to keep positive, Katie! Oh, and PS. that was not too much information in my opinion. I appreciate that you aren't afraid to talk about how it really is and not the "perfect" sex life that all married couples are "supposed" to have. We aren't trying to get pregnant yet, so I have no idea how it will work out for us, but I appreciate that you're willing to talk openly. You rock, my fellow redhead. You rock.

  4. I know when I'm upset or tense and someone tells me to "relax" it makes me more upset!

    I think it's great that you're seeing someone that can help you hopefully with all aspects of fertility -not just medical stuff, but the emotional and psychological as well.

    I feel like I've recently had more insight on the "timing of things" ...perhaps I'll write more on that later.

    Love you!

  5. All 3 times I've gotten pregnant were when we were on vacation.'s not because we were on vacation, but because we were enjoying eachother and not worrying about whether this would finally be the time it finally worked. Not like that's very consoling, because out of those 3 times I still don't have a baby, but ya's the principle.

  6. I can totally see why you would be frustrated. Nothing stresses me out (or pisses me off) like someone insisting that I "just relax". Ugh! But talking to a counselor or someone who is 'outside' of the situation can get through to you a lot better than your mom or your best friend. I hope his advice does the trick! I'm always having to remind myself that whatever is supposed to happen will happen - I made a plan with Heavenly Father for my life and I just have to be patient and let it play out! It can be rough at times though. Always hard to see the blessings that we have when the problems in our lives are at the forefront of our minds. I look back and think "You know, that REALLY sucked, but I was pretty lucky for X,Y, and Z." Always remember that you are awesome, loved, and SO gorgeous!

  7. Hi! my name is Lauren and I found your blog on another angel mommies blog. I lost my sweet boy Logan 5 months ago. I have read through some of your posts and they have been very helpful and easy to relate too. It makes me feel good that I am not the only one out there who is feeling heartache. I also suffer from infertility and it took me 20 months to get pregnant with Logan and now we get to go through it again. Hope all is well =-) Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings to help me get through the days as well =-)