Grace

I was able to go to a Relief Society dinner last week and listen to a wonderful speaker (Brad Wilcox) talk about Grace. It was so amazing to learn and grow as the spirit spoke through him.  I was able to grasp new things about grace that I have never thought about. Here are two of my favorite quotes he shared,

"Grace is not the light at the end of the tunnel when all is said and done,..It is the light that surrounds us and moves us through the tunnel"

"If God requires nothing of us, He can make nothing of us."

His talk really brought me peace and comfort. It helped me realize that when 2 Nephi states, "We are saved by the grace of God, after all we can do"  The "WE" is Heavenly father and me, Not the we as in me and everyone else. Heavenly Father is there helping me the whole time. There is never two foot steps in the sand. There is just one, Heavenly Father's. He is doing all he can do to bring me back. I am powerless without him and through his everlasting grace, little ole Katie can be back with him. He is everything. He loves me. He is always with me, carrying me through the tunnel. I love my Savior. I am so thankful that I have the gospel in my life. It has helped me through the many trials in my life. I feel his grace daily. I need his grace daily in order for me to endure to the end.

Trust

"Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses, applied simultaneously.  They are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more.  He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit.  To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be, requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain... This life is an experience in profound trust...Trust in Jesus Christ."

  -Elder Richard G. Scott

Read the Ensign, it is wonderful!

Just Relax

A few months ago if you told me to relax, I might have slapped you in the face (k, not really, but I am sure I would have thought about it). I was so sick of people saying if I "Relaxed" Nate and I would get pregnant. Or all we had to do was go on a vacation, then we would get pregnant. Or just adopt, then you for sure will get pregnant, it happened to my friend. 

Well I will tell you what, I thought I was going to snap. This is a Medical problem that Nate and I are going through. It's not something that, "Relaxing" will help....right?  Well, Nate and I started seeing a fertility therapist counselor person a month ago, and let me tell you. Wow! I have learned so much. It has been so nice just talking to someone who has dealt with couples like us for years. He was so knowledgeable. He said we were turning getting pregnant into work. (I am not going to lie, when you are actively trying to get pregnant, it takes the fun and spark out your love life.) So he told us to throw away our fertiltly calendar, quit scheduling time to make a baby. Just be together when we actually feel like being together (sorry if this is too much info).

 He also said that when women are stressed, their fallopian tubes will  spasm making it harder to get pregnant. I thought that was very interesting, considering my stress level lately has been about a 9 out of 10.  So, even though Nate and I both have medical problems with us, relaxing could actually help us a little. And alittle is better than nothing. 

With all of this new information and counseling we have be receiving, I have felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It is so nice not obsessing about when I ovulated or what foods help with fertility. We can just be us. Just play and act like a normal couple again, instead of being stressed and annoyed and heartbroken month after month. We will get pregnant when the Lord wants us to get pregnant. I just need to remind myself of that. So for now, I am leaving it up to Heavenly Father. No more pregnancy tests 5 days before I even start my period. No more ovulation App on my phone. No more, poor me. Let's hope that "Relaxing" will help after all.