Friday, December 21, 2012

31 weeks

We made it!!!
Miss tiny and I are to the week that I lost Porter. 
31 weeks! 
It has been in the back of my mind since I got pregnant. 
How am I going to be when I am 31 weeks. 
Am I going to be excited,..
 a nervous wreck...
out of my mind with anxiety??? 
This week has actually been alot more peaceful then I anticipated. 
Sure I have been anxious, but I have felt a comfort come over me often that miss tiny is ok. That we are going to make it. 
I know that this is the Holy Ghost. 
He is calming my mind, testifying of the love God has for me and this little one. 
Today is the day in my last pregnancy that I lost Porter (31 weeks and 4 days). 
 It is strange to ponder how different my life is now.
 How different this pregnancy is. 
How different the love Nate and I have for each other is. 
Often times I tell people that I don't think I am going to be a better parent because of Porter, But I think I am going to be a different parent now because of him. 
I think I am going to be more patient, 
 maybe more tender, 
or grateful. 
I just know that this little one is going to be more loved than she thought possible. 
I am so thankful for all my Doctors. 
For all the reassurances and support these past 31 weeks. 
It has been a stressful road for sure.
 Thankfully, I have been able to see my baby every 3 weeks grow and develop inside of me. Now I get weekly non-stress tests to check out how her heart is holding up in such cramped quarters. 
She is in the best hands, and for that I am truly grateful.


  1. Yay! What a great blessing to have modern medicine. I had bi-weekly stress tests with Liam and it was always fun to see his sweet little body and hear his heartbeat. Though I never experienced losing a little one, I was nervous with the other high risk factors I faced. I am happy for you, Katie!

  2. Not to sound creepy or anything, but I have been following this pregnancy of yours with great interest. It has been a nail-biter! Every time I see a happy post, I breathe a sigh of relief for you. I am super excited for you and your sweet husband! It is odd that it has been years since we've actually seen each other, but I still feel like we're somewhat close friends (thanks to social media and blogging!). Best wishes to you!!