Baby girl update

I saw my Perinatologist on Thursday to check up on miss tiny.  I love that I get to see her so often.  She is doing great. She is still in the 29th percentile, but she has been that consistently. So she growing, she is just little (which is to be expected since I am not very big myself......well....except for as of lately.)  We found out that she has some hair! Which is sooo super exciting since Nate and I were balled as bowling balls when we were born. I am excited to actually see what color her hair is. We are all still betting the farm she is a redhead, but I will be happy with any hair. Heck, just put her in my arms alive and healthy and I will be the happiest mommy ever! Well, while we were at the Perinatologist I had a few concerns. When I was pregnant with Porter I never had contractions or pains or pressure. He was really high, and I had the heartburn to prove it. So during the past few weeks when I was having a lot of pressure down low, weird pains and aches I thought I would bring it up to my Doctor.  I talked to my OB and my Dad and they said it was probably just round ligament pain. That my ligaments were stretching out to make room for baby.  But honestly this pressure felt like more than just my ligaments. It felt and still feels like a 30 pound weight is sitting on my cervix. At my last Perinatology appointment they said I had some extra amniotic fluid but they didn't give me a number.  They made sure I didn't have Gestational Diabetes, (which I don't, thank goodness) and they checked miss tiny's kidneys and bladder to make sure they were working properly.  Having extra fluid could mean she isn't swallowing or peeing right. Or that there was something wrong with her kidneys. Well, after I was checked 3 weeks ago, baby looked good, so they said it's just an abnormality. Since that appointment the pressure and pain had been getting worse. If I laid down, I couldn't breath, If I sat for too long I can't get up. I was really concerned that maybe I was having contractions and just didn't know what they felt like. Well at my visit a few days ago they measured  my amniotic fluid again. They told me normal is 8-18 cm.  High is 22 cm. Can you guess what mine is....27 cm.  Which means that I have 2 to 3 times the amniotic fluid that a normal women at 32 weeks has. So instead of 2 pounds of fluid in my uterus, I have about 4-5 pounds.  This extra fluid is putting A TON of pressure on my cervix. Thankfully, my cervix is awesome! LOL, it is long, 1.47 cm, (which I guess is good) thick and hard as a rock. So this provides a great barrier to keep baby in. Thank goodness for that or else they would be sticking a needle in my uterus every week to drain the extra fluid out.  So although they don't have to do any draining right now, it is still very uncomfortable. My doctor said I am probably twice as uncomfortable as most women at 32 weeks because of my huge uterus. He said that if the pressure become to unbearable then at our next appointment he can start draining the fluid. EEeekk! I am alittle nervous for that, but at least everything is good with miss tiny and the extra fluid isn't effecting her, except making it harder for her to flip head down.  They extra fluid puts pressure on her to stay in the position that she is at, which is breech, Just like Porter.  My doctors thinks it is highly unlikely that she is going to flip, since she has never been head down. So for now we are tentatively planning on a C-section for Feb 12th, which again is fine with me. I don't care how baby girl gets here. I just want her here and in my arms.

31 weeks

We made it!!!

Miss tiny and I are to the week that I lost Porter. 

31 weeks! 

It has been in the back of my mind since I got pregnant. 

How am I going to be when I am 31 weeks. 

Am I going to be excited,..

calm...

 a nervous wreck...

depressed,....

out of my mind with anxiety??? 

This week has actually been alot more peaceful then I anticipated. 

Sure I have been anxious, but I have felt a comfort come over me often that miss tiny is ok. That we are going to make it. 

I know that this is the Holy Ghost. 

He is calming my mind, testifying of the love God has for me and this little one. 

Today is the day in my last pregnancy that I lost Porter (31 weeks and 4 days). 

 It is strange to ponder how different my life is now.

 How different this pregnancy is. 

How different the love Nate and I have for each other is. 

Often times I tell people that I don't think I am going to be a better parent because of Porter, But I think I am going to be a different parent now because of him. 

I think I am going to be more patient, 

 maybe more tender, 

or grateful. 

I just know that this little one is going to be more loved than she thought possible. 

I am so thankful for all my Doctors. 

For all the reassurances and support these past 31 weeks. 

It has been a stressful road for sure.

 Thankfully, I have been able to see my baby every 3 weeks grow and develop inside of me. Now I get weekly non-stress tests to check out how her heart is holding up in such cramped quarters. 

She is in the best hands, and for that I am truly grateful.