Sunday, March 3, 2013

Surgery!!!

As most of you know, my little miss tiny was born 7 weeks premature. She had to stay in the NICU for 6 very long weeks. She had a number of difficulties including breathing problems (lots of apnea spells), eating problems (she couldn't have breast milk for 2 weeks after she was born because of stomach issues), she picked up a virus while in the NICU and had to be in isolation, which lasted 3 weeks!!! Her heart also had a hole in it, her Patent Ductuous Arterious (PDA for short) didn't close and actual got bigger after birth which is super rare. She fell in the 10% of the 10% of babies that have this problem.  She had to go on some risky drugs to help close it or get surgery. Thankful through lots of prayers, the medicine worked with no side effects. She still has the hole, but it isn't very significant. She just has to see a cardiologist every year to get it checked. However, through all her problems, I knew she was going to be okay. She was actually one of the more healthy babies in the NICU and for that I was truly grateful. 

It broke my heart seeing babies who were born so early their eyelids were still fused shut and were a mere pound. Or babies who couldn't eat at all because they didn't have a esophagus. They were actually growing one there at the hospital (what a modern miracle).  Nate and I were and are truly blessed to have such a healthy baby considering how early she was and how fast she came. Through all of this there was so much support and love. It is so amazing to have such a wonderful family, caring ward, and concerned friends. 

I am writing this post because there is one thing that not to many people know of that is also a concern for our Autumn.  Autumn was born with Metopic Craniosynotosis. What is that you ask. Well it is when the frontal bones of the skull fuse together to early causing a triangular effect of the skull, making the forehead pointed and causes a narrowed effect of the sides of the head. Also a ridge forms from the nose up the middle of the skull. 

Here is a picture to illustrate:


 I don't know if anyone has noticed that my lovely daughter's forehead extends forward, or notice the ridge.  As she gets older these abnormalities will get more and more pronounced, causing her to look very deformed. Also, because her frontal bones are fused they will be unable to grow as she grows causing brain restriction. This restriction could be harmful. So, due to this metopic synostosis, Autumn will have to have surgery on her skull in about 5 months. They need her to be bigger and stronger for the surgery. They normally do the surgery when babies are 6 months old, however since she was premature they want to wait till she is at least 8 months old. The surgery is very invasive and she will need extra blood for it. We met with a Plastic Surgeon two days ago, and he reassured us that he does this surgery often enough and hasn't ever had a problem, but it still freaks me out. 

This is a picture a before and after:

 

It just breaks my heart looking at these pictures. I know it is for the best, but it is still so scary. They are going to actually pull her skin down over her face and cut through the bones and then flatten them. Our doctor said babies do pretty good after the surgery. Generally they stay in the ICU for a day and then  in the hospital for 2-3 days and then they can come home without any meds. Seems a little crazy to me, but I am not a doctor. I am amazed that they can do this and I am thankful for competent doctors. 

I know Autumn will be in good hands, but prayers are much appreciated. This surgery most likely won't happen till August. I am glad she is going to be stronger, but I wish we could do it now to get it over with. I am so anxious thinking of my little one going under the knife after all she had been through and being so young. Autumn is definetly a fighter! She is such a strong girl already. I know that she is going to accomplish amazing things in her life, because she has already overcome so much. She is my miracle baby. My rainbow baby after my dark storm. I love my Autumn. She is my everything!

You can see her triangle skull in this picture.
I still think she is the cutest thing ever!!!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

My little Valentine



Oh how I love you my darling little Autumn!
I love your coos,
I love your twitches when you sleep
I love your squeaks
I love your milk drunk face
I love that you sigh as you nurse
I love your beautiful big eyes
I love your strong little neck, always trying to look up at me
I love that you calm down when daddy holds you
I love that you love tummy time
I love that your hands are always out stretched
I love that you chose me
I love that your mine!
Happy Valentines Day Autumn!
I LOVE YOU!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Letters to Autumn


At my baby shower my dear friend Corinna asked my amazing husband to write a letter to Autumn and give it to me as a present. Nate also wrote a letter from Porter to Autumn. They are so tender that I had to share.

Letter from Nate:

Autumn,
My lovely daughter, I wanted you to know how much your mother and I treasure you. You have been alive in the NICU for the past eight days. We have missed you every minute we are not together.  Each chance we get to see or hold you makes us so incredibly happy.  Your family has been into see you too, and they all love you. You surprised mom and I by coming early, but we are so grateful to see your beautiful face and touch your sweet little hands and feet.  We know that you have already had some struggles, and will likely have more through your life; but we want you know that we are here to help you, and answer all your questions.  We know we will make mistakes, but we will do our best to take care of you, and do what is best for you.  Please be patient with us, and remember that we always love you.
Love,
Dad.

Letter from Porter:

Dear Autumn,
My name is Porter. I came to visit mom and dad two years before you were born.  I am your older brother.  Your dad always thought every girl ought to have an older brother, and you do.  Unfortunately, my stay here was cut short.  I wanted to tell you a few things I learned while I was here.  First, you have a Heavenly Father that loves you.  He put your parents here to watch over and protect you.  They love you very much.  You should also know that I love you, and am always here to listen and help you.  I never got to see mom and dad face to face, so treasure them as they will you. When you need comfort, remember that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are there to listen, as am I. I can not wait to be back together again. I love you Autumn!
Love your older brother,
Porter Owen Adams

Here is a letter that I wrote when Autumn was born:

My dearest Autumn,
I thought this day would never come. I finally have you! You are my baby girl and I am your mother! I am so overcome with the love I have for you.  I miss you every second of the day that I am not with you. You are so beautiful my darling. Such a strong person already. My little fighter. I am so thankful to our Father in Heaven that he blessed me with such a special child. You have such an adorable spirit. So bright, so feisty! I can not wait till we get to take you home and snuggle you all day! I hope you know how much I love you. Autumn you are my miracle. You are so loved by so many people. I know that you are going to accomplish amazing things. Remember that you are a daughter of God. You are a princess of the most High King and He loves you more than anything. Please excuse my faults as I have many. Be patient with me and I will do my best to give you all that you could ever need. I love you my little miss tiny!
Love always,
Mom