Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Autumn's 1st


This sweet little girl turned ONE on January 3rd!






The Hot Chocolate bar was a success!
         

 We did a WinterOnederland Themed Birthday! It was full of snowflakes, sparkles and sweet treats!


All things Autumn Chalk board



 It was a perfect day! Lots of Precious moments!

 Homemade cake, by yours truly!


 Autumn wasn't interested in smashing the cake, so I helped her by smearing frosting on her face. I thought she just needed to taste it, but apparently she doesn't like frosting. She never did eat any, but she eventually got the hang of it and cake went flying!    

 


I love this little miss more than I can express. She is such a sweet, tender, loving, silly, curious little girl and I am so thankful that she is mine! Happy Birthday Darling!

Monday, January 20, 2014

Porters 3rd Birthday

Of course I am a few months late in writing this post, Life seems to be getting busier, busier everyday. Our little angle baby, Porter Owen Adams, turned 3 years old on November 18,2013. We have a tradition that every year on Porter's birthday we write letters to him and do a ballon launch. I like to think that he gets our letters, or at least can feel that we are thinking about him.  This year was particularly special because Autumn was able to send our letters to her heavenly brother!

Letter from Mom

Dear Porter,
Happy Birthday darling! I can't believe you are three years old! It would be so fun to see you running around chasing Ollie and rolling on the ground with Autumn. I am sure you are watching over her all the time without us realizing it. I love you so much Porter. I can't wait to be with you again and have you and Autumn play together. The pain of when you died was so intense, I thought it would never stop hurting....but the Atonment of Jesus Christ has helped heal the hole in my heart that you were supposed to fill.  Also as time passes I find that I gain more perspective and understanding on what your purpose was.  It was to teach us that we can be together forever and that we can overcome anything with the Lords help. Thank you for being such an example to me.  I am sure you are up in heaven teaching the gospel and being an amazing missionary.  I love and miss you so much. Continue to watch over us. I can feel you often. Happy Birthday my sweet angel!
                            Love always,  MOM

Letter from Dad

Porter,
Happy Birthday! I am so glad to have a day to celebrate you.  We miss you. We hope that you are doing great things.  We love you so much and cannont wait to meet and talk to you. Your little sister Autumn is doing so well.  She has had some struggles as I am sure you know. She has done so well to get through it all, and continue to gow and learn. We are glad to know that she has an older brother waching out for her. This year has been very busy. We have been thinking about you and what you would be doing if you were here with us. We know you would be playing and laughing with your sister all the time. You have changed our lives by visiting us. When the day comes we are excited to see what you have been accomplishing up in heaven.
                             Love, DAD


Friday, January 3, 2014

Birthday Letter

Dear Autumn,
I have decided that I am going to write you a letter every year for your birthday. Then you will have letters from me throughout the years to hopefully love and cherish as I have loved and cherished you!

My darling little miss tiny, this year has been one of the hardest and happiest years of my life. I never thought I could love someone so much. The 6 weeks you were in the NICU, were one of the roughest parts of my life. Then when you had your reconstructive surgery on your skull 5 months later, I could bearly keep myself together. I thought at any moment my heart would break in two. The only thing that kept me whole was your strength. You were resilent through all of it. You are truely a fighter my dear. You showed me the power of prayer and faith. As well as the support and love all around us.
Autumn, I am so thankful that Heavenly Father sent you to me. You are so special. You have such a sweet spirit about you. Everyone you meet can feel it. You are magnetic.  When I tell people about your story, they immediately tell me how they could sense something special about you.
Autumn, you make me laugh everyday with your fake coughs, snorts, grunts and giggles. I feel that my heart will explode with all the love I have for you. You are so curious. You are constantly looking around and examining your surroundings. You have to be the center of attention.  You are such a social baby. Always teasing others with your adorable shy smile and jibber-jabbers. You light up my life.  I love what a snuggle bug you are. You love to cuddle up with dad and I, or even our dog Ollie. You are so tender and gentle. You softly touch my face as I rock you to sleep each night, and it always brings tears to my eyes. Your voice is so soft and sweet, and when you sing everyone stops to listen. 
I want you to know that Mom and Dad love you so incredibly much! I can not adequately express how much you mean to me. I hope you can feel it, because I can feel your love.
 Its hard to believe a year has already flown by. I can't wait to see what joys this next year brings. Happy Happy Birthday Autumn!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

All About Autumn

1. You weigh 14lbs 10oz at 11.5 months old, hence the nickname Miss Tiny!
2. You wear size 6-9 clothes, but are super long so you have to wear size 12 month pants, however they are huge around your waist.
3. You have strawberry blonde hair
4. You have the most enchanting big blue eyes, and get compliments on them all the time!
5. You love to clap
6. You love your fingers
7. You are curious about everything
8. You love to grunt and snort
9. You hate to be alone, and will cry even if someone turns their back to you.
10. You love momma, until daddy gets home. Then it's all daddy love.
11. You are a light and picky eater.
12. You like crackers, bread, apples, noodles and rice

13. You are army crawling likes it nobodies busy
14. You love Ollie, our dog. You guys are like two peas in a pod
15. You sleep 8 hours straight at night, eat, then sleep another 3-4 hours.
16. You take two hour long naps a day.
17. You love to be carried, and would rather be in someones arms over playing on the floor.
18. You fake cough all the time
19. You are a very social baby
20. You love to drink out of adult glasses, and are pretty good at it. 
21. You are obsessed with phones, and have learned to set alarms and delete apps.
22. You love bath time, and like to be on your belly splashing the whole time.
23. You have a really soft, dainty voice.
24. You would rather play with a piece of paper or over a toy.
25. You are very animated
26. You notice the tiniest of details. If there is a crumb on the table you will grab it and examine it forever.
27. You have been in the hospital a total of 50 days
28. You go to daycare two days a week
29. You have 3 teeth
30. You love your binki
31. You had major reconstructive surgery on your skull when you were only 6 months old, but you handled it like a champ. Mom on the other hand did not.
32. You had 81 stitches as a result, and your scar is almost completely faded.
33. You hate when I put lotion on you, but I do it everyday.
34. You have had 4 sets of ear infections
35. You currently have an outie belly button
36. You are a super pooper, and have a few blow outs a week.
37. You have three sets of grandparents
38. You mimic other peoples sounds
39. You go to sleep listening to music every night
40.  You have modeled for two different businesses
41. You were the first granddaughter born on Nate's side
42. You almost always fall asleep in the car
43. You wear size 1 shoes, but they never stay on your feet long.
44. Your head is in the 80th percentile
45. Your weight is in the negative 3rd percentile
46. Your height is in the 20th percentile
47. You love to snuggle
48. You have an Angel older brother looking over you.
49. You have inspired many people
50. You are truly a MIRACLE!

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

10 & 11 months

This little miss of mine is growing up way too fast! I feel like everyday she is learning something new. 
I am torn between loving how much she is discovering the world each day, and hating how fast each day goes. Yesterday I was able to go see my visiting teacher's brand new baby. What a shock that was! He was so tiny and helpless! I thought Autumn was still a baby. I mean she is only 15.5 lbs. However, she is definitely not a baby anymore. 
She is army crawling, sitting by herself. She jabbers and says da-da, Hi and ba-ba. She can stand up next to furniture and play with toys. She is curious and aware. She laughs and grunts and patty cakes! She is a big girl now! 
It's truly amazing how much she has accomplished in her 11 months of life!
Hard to believe that she will be ONE, in 3 weeks.  I am so proud of my Miss Tiny!




Tuesday, October 8, 2013

8 & 9 months

Just when I am about to type Missy's 8 month post, she is already 9 months old! She is growing so fast! 



She has decided that sitting is finally okay, but is still alittle unsure of herself unless she is up against something or someone.

She would rather just stand all day. She loves to walk around while holding my hands. I am thinking she might walk before she crawls. Crawling is not even on Autumn's radar. If I try to put her up on her hands and knees she shoots her legs out straight and lays on her belly. 

She finally got her first two teeth. I am loving her smile with her little bottom teeth showing.  She still doesn't like to eat solid food. She gags on every baby food and on anything that is on a spoon. The only foods she will eat are apples, watermelon, crackers and the Gerber rice puffs, and she has to feed them to herself.  

She is still tiny, but growing steady. She was 13lbs 13oz and 26 inches long at her 9 month check up. We are working with an Occupational therapist to help with her eating and crawling aversion.  

Missy sleeps about 8-9 hours straight at night. She goes to be around 7-7:30 pm, wakes up to eat around 3-3:30 am then goes back to sleep till 7 am. She takes two naps a day, usually from 10-11 and then one from 2-4. The best way to put her to sleep is to play some music and sing to her.

She loves dogs and gives Oli and my dads dog Buddha hugs all the time. 


She sat in the cart for the first time this month!

She absolutely loves bath time. She laughs and splashes the whole time. I get soaked every night. She loves books and thinks it's fun to scratch the pages as we read. 

She loves to look at the window and look at herself in the mirror. She could do that for hours!

 Miss tiny is such a joy to be around and I am so thankful I am her Mother!


Thursday, August 22, 2013

Being a Mother

Lately I have been overwhelmed... Overwhelmed with the love I have for my children.  Sometimes I still can't believe I am actually a Mother! I remember the first time I found out I was going to be a Mother. It was April 2010. My thoughts were full of nervousness and excitement. I couldn't believe I was going to have a baby. I was going to house one of Heavenly Father's choice spirits. Later, I found out just how perfectly choice he was. As the months past and I felt my little boy move for the first time, my thoughts turned to anxiety. There really was a baby inside of me. I really was going to be responsible for a tiny little human. I didn't feel adequate. I didn't feel that I was ready. 

Then when I no longer felt my little boy kick inside me, my thoughts turned to fear, dread and panic. As you all well know, My sweet angel boy was taken away back to his Heavenly Father before I could met him.  As I delivered Porters lifeless body, my thoughts turned to the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I could have been bitter. I could have felt robbed, betrayed, alone.... but I felt.. Love, Peace and Comfort. My thoughts on what Motherhood was changed. I wasn't going to be able to tickle Porters little feet. Kiss his soft cheeks. I wasn't going to be able to chase him around the house and rock him to sleep. I wasn't going to be able to... Yet! I was going to be able to raise him. I was going to be able to hold and love and kiss him. I was his Mother! And although he had left this earth before I could meet him, I knew him! I knew him because I knew my Savior. I knew that my Savior loved him and me. I knew that he had faith in me..and I knew that He sent Porter to earth for such a brief time because he was so righteous.... so I knew that Porter had to be something special.

 For the next 18 months I pondered what Motherhood really was. My thoughts turned from being anxious about becoming a mother to Pride that I had the short time to be one. I thought of what kind of mother I wanted to be. What kind of mother my Heavenly Father wanted me to be. What kind of mother Porter wanted me to be. When we finally got pregnant with Autumn May 2012 my thoughts of inadequacy were gone. I was ready for this baby! I was ready to be the best mom I could be. I thought that I was be anxious my entire pregnancy. However, thanks to the Lord, and modern anxiety medication (Wink) I was relatively calm my 33 weeks of pregnancy. After the surprise of my water breaking, and c-section delivery wore off, I couldn't believe I finally had a living baby. It didn't really kick in that I was a Mother until we brought Autumn home 6 weeks later. Having her home, in my arms, surrounded by pictures of her older brother... That's when everything really sank in.  It has been such a heart wrenching battle getting my little family here on earth. I have learned that I am stronger than I think, and I can love much deeper than I thought possible. 

It has been such a privilege to take care of this darling spirit that Autumn is. I can just imagine Heavenly Father and Porter talking with Autumn before she came down. Telling her how strong and resilient she is. She is bound to do amazing things, because she already has. I am so Blessed to be her mother. So very blessed to be both of their mothers.