The snowball effect

I started a goal of running a mile at the beginning of the year. I thought. " hey this will be easy". Well it actually took me a few months and a new pair of awesome running shoes (thank you 26.2) to get to my goal. Once I reached that I decided to set a goal of running a 5k,.. Why, I don't know. I even signed up and paid for one, so naturally I would feel guilty if I didn't go through with it. My date is May 17th. The 5K is called walk to run, all the proceeds go to children with disabilities.

Well today I accomplished my goal of running 3.2 miles (a 5K). I am seriously amazed that I ran this far, I didn't even get that tired, I had to stop because my knee hurt.  I thought that the 5K in May was going to kill me but now I have hope. I now have a new goal of running a half marathon..... I don't know what is going on with me. I seriously have hated running my whole life. I probably wouldn't even run if someone was trying to kill me, "just get it over with" I would say. LOL I am just that lazy. So having these goals is COMPLETELY out of the ordinary for me. Plus I just signed up for my first triathlon in June?!? I call this the snowball effect. I bought my first road bike a few weeks ago and I am in love! I am starting to enjoy running too.

Who would have thought, Katie the short legged, never ran a mile in her life, Katie would be excited about running everyday? Not me. I am so amazed how powerful our minds are. If you think positively and really put in the effort anything can happen. I know this is a little dramatic, but those that know me know what a pathetic runner I am. I thank Kara and Jessie for helping me so much on my way. I still have along way so please keep up with the encouragement and awesome advice. :)

I love to see the Temple

I am so thankful for the temple and that I can be sealed to my eternal companion Nathan Richard Adams forever.  He truly is my everything. I am so thankful  for the power of temple covenants that can bind our love throughout the eternities. I love you darling!

Thank you for taking so many adventures with me.  Now that we are coming up on our 4 year anniversary I can't help but think about all the adventures we have been on. In 4 years we have moved 3 times, I have graduated from BYU, We have toured Italy,  and conceived and had a beautiful baby that we will get to raise in the next life.  What an amazing journey we have been on love.  I can't wait to see what is in store for us.  I love you!

Birthdays

Today is a very special day.  26 years ago the man of my dreams was born to two amazing parents. I am so thankful that he was raised to be respectful, honest, caring, strong, loving and true! I am amazed at all he does for me and our marriage. I hope that when I become a parent I will be able to teach my children the strong morals and values that my in-laws taught Nate.  Thank you for all that you did and that you do for Nate! Today is special for another reason. 4 months ago I had my son Porter. He was born November 18th at 6:00am. He died sometime on between November 14th and 15th. As soon as I could feel Porter I knew he was going to be like me. He never stopped moving. He wiggled and kicked till the day I lost him. I could tell, even though I didn't know him that he was going to be special. I didn't know how, but I knew that something was different about Porter. Then I realized Porter was just like his Daddy. He is strong, valiant and true. So true that he could testify of the atonement without saying a word. So valiant that he only needed to be here long enough to receive a body. So strong that he could leave his mother and know that she would be okay, and that she would learn how much both Heavenly Father and him love her. I love the boys in my life so much. Happy Birthday Nate! I love you and I love everything I am with you! I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

Spring Break

It is a strange thing being married. I thought that being married meant that you got to spend time with your spouse. NOT! My husband and I are more like roommates these days. I get to see him for maybe 2 hours each night, if that. It is so sad. I miss him so much. He does so much. He works full-time from 7-4 everyday and then has school from 4-8 after that. Then when he gets home he has to do homework :(. It is a struggle for me to motivate him to do his homework and not spend the rest of the night snuggling with me and watching movies. Unfortunately I work most weekends and Nate doesn't.  So this brings me to my happy happy happy point. Spring Break is next week and that means I get Nate all to myself, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday night! No School!! I can not wait to just be with him! He is so amazing and I feel that our lack of contact is causing me to become depressed!  He lifts my spirits with the amazing love he shows me everyday. I am so thankful for my husband and the way he puts me first. Thanks babe! You are my everything! XOXO

New Normal

As I was cleaning my house today I wandered into Porter's nursery. I just sat in the middle of the room and pondered how different my normal is now.  I never used to have random fits of crying or days that I didn't want to get out of bed. I never used to feel like if I wasn't busy every second of the day I was worthless. I never felt like my value depended on if I was a mother or not.. Why would it? I had never been a mother and hadn't been preparing for it for 8 months. Some days I feel like none of this ever happened. I feel like I am already losing Porter and the experiences I have had.  People that are just meeting me never knew I was pregnant or that I had a baby. How could such a big part of who I am now, vanish like the warmth after a sunset. I feel as though everyone should know what I went through and who Porter was. I find that through writing I can remember that time in my life and make it more real. It has almost been 4 months since I had Porter, but the sadness still captures my heart. The doctors said that I would be different, that I would have a new kind of normal. I can feel it everyday. My light is still with me, it just burns a different color now.

Loving ourselves

I have been pondering several questions as I have been sitting at work listening to the women that surround me belittle themselves. Why? Why do we hate ourselves so? Why do we constantly pick out all of our flaws and minimize all of our strengths. Why do we try to reach some imaginary perfection that no one can? Why do we place our value on our waist size or the length of our eyelashes? I associate with some of the most beautiful, intelligent, interesting, fabulous women everyday, but they are also the most critical! This ideal we all have for ourselves is not healthy. It affects our self-worth, our relationships and our happiness. Who wants to think about calories when you are enjoying food. Or what the hip thing to wear is when you go play with your friends. When did our interactions become so superficial and based so much about our appearances. Why do women only talk about food, fat and fashion. Lets be a little deeper. Reach alittle further into ourselves and talk about the real stuff.. the hard stuff... the stuff that we all want to but are to afraid to let others know, stuff! I admit I am guilt of be obsessed with my appearance. I am a women, I want to look nice and be attractive but to my own standards, not the worlds. Who says short legs aren't beautiful. Who says that my shape isn't the ideal shape and who cares. I am Kathryn Nichole Juchau Adams. I have my flaws and put myself down for them, but I am sick of it. I want to change. I am beautiful GOSH DARNIT! Who is with me?

Running with Angels

The new year brings about a lot of reflection on what you accomplished or almost accomplished during the past year. When I looked back on 2010 I find that I had one of the most eventful and defining years of my life. I graduated from Brigham Young University with my Bachelors in Recreational Therapy and minor in Psychology. I was able to travel to Italy with the love of my life and tour the wonders there. I had the opportunity to conceive, carry and deliver my beautiful son. 2010 was definitely the year of extreme highs and lows for me. While I feel like I accomplished alot, I look at 2011 and think... what is next. How can I improve myself or others if I am not a studious student or nurturing mother. I am at a point in my life where there are no deadlines or schedules. What do I base my worth on? Why can't things go according to plan?? I am SUPPOSED to be a mother right now. I should be constantly busy taking care for my son and loving him. What does the Lord expect from me now that he has taking away the only thing I want more in this life then my husband? As I prayed and asked these questions, I got an answer.
"Katie you always have value in my eyes. Think who you are, think of the girls you serve, think of how you are changing their lives." As I thought about this, I realized that they were actually changing mine.
I started working at a group home for girls 2 weeks before I lost my son. These girls are abandoned, abused or otherwise forgotten. It humbles me everyday to hear of their journey through different foster families, group homes and court hearings. I have recently started a recreation therapy group with them that helps them cope in healthier ways. I have found that by preparing my groups, I have purpose again. I am helping others who in turn are helping me understand how to mourn in healthy ways.
Because of these girls, I decided that I would start making goals for myself. I decided to really push myself and do something that I hated doing. If I could ask them to do things they didn't like.. Shouldn't I. So I told them that I had never run a mile straight. Well there was no turning back now. I was completely accountable to them as they were to me. After running 2-3 times a week for 6 weeks, I finally completed my goal. I ran a mile. Not a very fast mile, but a mile none the less. These girls have given me hope that I can make a difference in their lives and well as my own and I am so thankful to be able to work with them everyday.